Try or Let Things Go, 2012
10 minute play
Performed at the 10 Minute Play Festival 2012, Baltimore, MD. Directed by Lola Pierson and Cricket Arrison.
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TRY
or
LET THINGS GO
CAST (in order of apperance)
Cormer – somewhat bedraggled. Wears all red.
Philange – wears cap, is basically brainless. Wears all red.
Grease – clean cut, wears a tie. Wears all red.
Tree1 – a pine tree. IÕd like to see both these tree characters in big stuffed
costumes with holes for their faces to stick out of and their faces are painted
green. You know?
Tree2 – a pine tree. See above.
Note* - DONÕT GET ANY FUNNY IDEAS ABOUT THOSE TREES BEING CHRISTMAS TREES. THEY
ARE NOT CHRISTMAS TREES. JUST REGULAR.
SCENE 1
Lights
up on full stage.
STAGE
RIGHT HALF: A red table with a red chair. Red paper, red marker,
and red phone on the table. All entrances and exits made to this setting
happen stage right.
STAGE
LEFT HALF: Two green pine trees walk continually together, hand in hand.
(Not really moving, walking in place.) All entrances and exits made to
this setting happen stage left.
CORMER
enters from stage right. Sits down at table and picks up marker.
Begins writing on red paper with red marker. Holds up paper, examining
writing.
CORMER: CanÕt
fucking see this shit. Scribbles out writing. ItÕs like
nothing happened. Continues to attempt to make some kind of notes or
writing despite the fact that it is accomplishing to marks whatsoever. GREASE
enters from stage right, holding a pile of Netflix envelopes.
GREASE: Here
you go. Hands CORMER awkward falling-around stack.
CORMER: Only
kind of looking up, half paying attention Yeah cool just put em there.
GREASE: Fumbling
with other official business materials Hey . . . did you see . . . whereÕd that
one from yesterday . . .
CORMER: Haphazardly
draws a big invisible X on a piece of paper, hands it to GREASE Here, hereÕs a new one.
GREASE: Relieved Oh yeah, great
thanks. Ok IÕll see you at 3. Exits
CORMER
starts fussing with the Netflix envelopes, organizing them or something.
You know, perfoming a task. After a few moments PHILANGE enters.
Stares at CORMER with awkward excitement for an inappropriate amount of time.
PHILANGE: Netflix!
CORMER: Hey,
Philange.
PHILANGE: Yeah!
CORMER: So,
IÕm workin on it, I dunno . . .. It might take me a little extra longer today,
IÕm having this problem with the marker . . .
PHILANGE: Ok! Beat. Netflix!
CORMER: Yeah,
I know. We work for Netflix. Fusses with materials.
PHILANGE continues to stare excitedly. (Without looking up) Hey
did you hear they were gonna take away our vacation plan?
PHILANGE
reacts with thoughtless interest/surprise.
CORMER: (Continues
to stare at paperwork) Somebody was saying the other day that we werenÕt gonna be
able to take unlimited vacations anymore, do you know if thatÕs true?
PHILANGE
drums fingers together excitedly, pretending to understand.
CORMER: Cause
I just gotta know, you know? ItÕs like eating me up inside. I just
have a thirst for knowledge.
PHILANGE: Yep!
CORMER: I
donÕt even care personally you know? Like IÕm not even going to take a
vacation this year no matter what. Probably not next year either.
But I just like knowing what kind of vacation plans everyoneÕs operating
under. Beat. You hear what they got going over at
Cha-Cha? PHILANGE stares. CORMER makes a few marks on the paper,
absentmindingly handing them to PHILANGE who collectes them in a pile. I
saw on the internet that they have to take a 2 week vacation every 3 weeks, and
it has to be somewhere exotic like a big frilly beach. I couldnÕt believe
my eyes!
PHILANGE: Ooh!
10 more please!
CORMER: Yeah
yer gonna have to come back later, IÕm all jumbled up over here. Gestures
to messy desk. PHILANGE makes a comforting face and touchy gesture, like
touches CORMERÕs shoulder tenderly, then exits. CORMER continues to deal
with the work at hand. Continues to work at the desk as the rest of the
scene plays out.
TREE1
looks up, staring at the sky. TREE2 looks around contentedly and starts
idly humming.
TREE1: (Staring
into sky) Hey is that a bird?
TREE2
continues humming but makes a ÒhmmÓ? face at TREE1.
TREE1: See
that blue thing up there? (Points up with free hand) ItÕs like, you
canÕt tell if itÕs moving or not but it might be getting farther away? I
think thatÕs a bird. It could be a bird.
TREE2: (Agreeably) Do you want me to
concede that it is a bird or argue against it being a bird?
TREE1: (Squinting
at the sky)
ItÕs so hard to tell from this distance.
TREE2: Which
would you rather?
TREE1: On
second thought . . . you know . . . it could be a baseball cap . . .
TREE2: Why
donÕt YOU say itÕs a baseball cap and IÕLL say itÕs a bird? That sounds
like a pretty good time, IÕm going to start thinking about my case. (Becomes
thoughtful)
TREE1
peers at the object while TREE2 contemplates the bird possibility.
TREE1: Oh.
Know what? It wasnÕt anything. There wasnÕt anything there after
all.
TREE2: Huh.
Ok well let me know if you see anything else that might be a bird cause I think
IÕve come up with a good argument.
They
continue to walk contentedly together. Lights
down on both sides.
SCENE 2
Lights
up. GREASE sits at the table. A red desktop computer, red clock
reading 3:00 on the table. Netflix envelopes cover everything.
CORMER stands next to the table, addressing GREASE. TREE1 and TREE2
continue to walk contentedly in silence.
CORMER: (continuing
a conversation already in progress. CORMER is having a heated discussion,
GREASE calmly continues to work, staring at his computer throughout.) Cause IÕm just the kind
of person who tries to really consider EVERYTHING, you know? I mean I
guess things like this just donÕt matter to the Òaverage joe down the blockÓ
but I can see the big picture! I mean IÕve got my eyes wide open but
these guys, these guys in Central are just FUCKING with EVERYTHING (getting
more aggitated) and they donÕt even CARE! ItÕs all just one big
martini sandbox to them, but IÕve got my ear to the wall and my eyes to my ear!
I can see all KINDS of shit! IÕm making CONNECTIONS!
GREASE
hits enter repeatedly, ignoring CORMER. CORMER sighs, staring at the ceiling,
pulling it together.
CORMER:(Calmly) Look, anyway, can I get
a new marker?
GREASE
looks up at CORMER. Reaches under some Netflix envelopes to retrieve a
red marker. Hands it to CORMER. CORMER takes it and exits.
GREASE continues to work at computer for rest of scene.
TREE1: Hey,
will you help me write my cover letter later today?
TREE2: Sure.
TREE1: IÕm
going out for a position at a big branch.
They
both laugh extremely heartily at this hilarious tree joke. Beat.
TREE1: Oh,
that reminds me, will you help me write my cover letter today?
TREE2: Oh
sure! Say, what fun! IÕm great at things like this! (Consultantly) Now, youÕre going to have a lot of people telling you that itÕs important to
use ÒactionÓ words but what I like to do is just draw a nice big oval in a
special color I pick out. Pretty big you know? Like you want it to
fill most of the page.
TREE1: (Earnestly
considering this advice) Hmmmmm. What color should I pick?
TREE2: Well,
each situation is different. You need to tailor to the particulars.
WhatÕs the position?
TREE1: Firefighter.
TREE2: Okay,
so, I mean, I donÕt want to be pushy because this is about you. But think
about how the firefighting industry makes you feel . . . go from there.
Remember, this is about what you can bring to the team.
TREE1: Thinks
for a bit.
Alizarin
crimson.
TREE2: (Earnestly) I think
thatÕs a good choice. Alizarin crimson says a lot.
They
walk in silence for a bit.
TREE2: When
we get home IÕll show you an example of an oval.
Lights
down.
SCENE 3
Lights
up. CORMERÕs office. Red marker and paper on table. Under the table
CORMER has constructed an igloo out of netflix envelopes. The igloo is
lit from inside causing it to glow in a nice way. CORMER is visible
inside the igloo (possibly only in shadow.) The red phone is inside the
igloo. A windchime hangs from the igloo ceiling. (Things inside the
igloo need not be visible.) CORMER is continuing to do paperwork of some kind.
TREE1
and TREE2 are sitting at a table that is identical to the red table except it
is green. TREE2 has a box of crayons and TREE1 has a yellow #2 pencil.
TREE1 chews thoughtfully on the end of the pencil. TREE2 is slowly and
with great concentration, drawing something.
TREE2: There.
Holds up smallish image of an oval.
TREE1: Ohhhhhh!
TREE2 continues to draw ovals in different colors and TREE1 continues to
write. Hey what do you think sounds better: ÒIt rained on my
dick,Ó ÒMy dick got rained on,Ó or ÒMy dick got rain on it.Ó
TREE2: (Thoughtful) Hmm. YouÕre
putting that in the cover letter?
TREE1: No,
this is a poem IÕm writing.
TREE2: ShouldnÕt
you work on that letter?
TREE1: I
donÕt feel good. I canÕt concentrate on it.
TREE2: I
like the last one.
TREE1: (Writing
it down)
ÒMy dick got rain on it.Ó
TREE2: (Holds
up most recent oval)
These are really coming out pretty good!
TREE1: (Points
to another oval on the table) I like that one. ItÕs very assertive.
TREE2: You
donÕt think itÕs too pushy?
TREE1: Oh
no! It has an air of confidence but it doesnÕt carry on. It says
ÒIÕm me, world!Ó And plus itÕs so round but plus itÕs long.
TREE2: Maybe
IÕll show that one to my mom.
They
continue to work for duration of scene.
GREASE
enters the right-half scene. CORMER continues to work.
GREASE: Cormer?
CORMER: Hey!
Down here.
GREASE: (Notices
the igloo and bends down to talk to CORMER) Hey, youÕre late on the
4:45.
CORMER: Oh
man, so get this right? I called up Central right? And of course
they wouldnÕt tell me anything BUT THEN I checked out the Reddit on em and it
looks like the whole thing is just a hoax to cover up this intense corn
situation! CORN! (Searching around) I mean it makes so much sense,
you know? ItÕs all tied together, the whole thingÕs corn. Beat.
God whatÕd I do with that marker?
GREASE: Do
you have the 4:45 yet?
CORMER: (Ignoring
GREASEÕs question) But check it out! I found a way to beat the
system! Yeah you can come in if you want! I can just move these
papers out of the way . . . (shuffles papers around inside the igloo)
GREASE: (Makes
no motion towards entering the igloo) I just need the 4:45.
CORMER: IsnÕt
this great? I have my phone in here and everything! And look I got
a wind-chime! (CORMER chimes the windchime)
GREASE: Are
you getting much wind in there?
CORMER: Not
really. But know what else IÕm not getting in here? CORN!
GREASE: Look
IÕm gonna come back in 20 minutes, finish that 4:45 or CentralÕs gonna be
pissed. (Notices marker on top of table and grabs it. Exits.)
CORMER: (CORMER
doesnÕt notice exit and is till talking to GREASE) Yup, looks like those
chumps are in for a RUDE AWAKENING.
All
lights down.
SCENE 4
Lights
up. CORMER is still inside the igloo. The light is on and we can
see that CORMER is lying down. We hear CORMER lightly snoring. The
windchimes inside the igloo chime lightly in a breeze. CORMER snores
louder. All lights down.
SCENE 5
Lights
up. On the right, we are back in GREASEÕs office. The clock still
reads 3:00. PHILANGE stands next to table. GREASE works at
computer, somewhat angrily, muttering silently to PHILANGE. PHILANGE is
nodding in agreement. Two identical green chairs sit side by side on the RIGHT
half of the stage. TREE2 sits in one reading a book titled ÒPINECONES.Ó
GREASE: I
donÕt have time for this. It was due YESTERDAY. I donÕt have time
for this shit. No time!
PHILANGE: (In
agreement)
Netflix.
GREASE: Exactly.
Exactly. We ARE Netflix! This isnÕt some pony party. This is
the REAL DEAL! PHILANGE continues to nod in agreement. I
mean look at me. IÕm wearing a TIE. This is a place where people
wear TIES. IÕm wearing other ties you canÕt even see!!
PHILANGE: (In
agreement)
NetFLIX.
GREASE: Exactly.
(Types aggressively on keyboard, becoming more and more frustratred due to
some kind of internal monologue.) You know what? You know
what?? IÕm sending a memo.
PHILANGE: (Excited)
Ah!
GREASE
tappity tap taps away at the memo. PHILANGE watches with excitement.
TREE1 enters scene on right dressed in a firefighters coat and hat and looking
dejected. TREE1 holds one end of a hose which runs offstage. TREE2
looks up from book.
TREE2: You
look great.
TREE1: (Sadly
drops hose) I feel awful. That went terribly.
TREE2: Oh
IÕm sure you did fine.
TREE1: (Slumps
into empty chair)
I feel like a jerk.
TREE2: Would
you like me to comfort you or to commisserate with you?
TREE1: IÕm
miserable.
TREE2: What
happened?
TREE1: I
showed them my cover letter and they said that it WASNÕT a cover letter and
that firefighters donÕt NEED cover letters and that I should probably just
forget it. Then someoneÕs cigarette accidentally set me on fire as I was
leaving.
TREE2: Well
thatÕs not your fault.
TREE1: I
brought my own hose!! (Gestures toward hose)
TREE2: IÕm
sure you did better than you think.
TREE1: I
guess IÕll just have to wait and see if they call.
TREE1
sits and waits for the firefighters to call while TREE2 continues to read.
Lights down.
SCENE 6
Lights
up. CORMERÕs office. The igloo is still here. It is no longer
lit. Papers and netflix envelopes are still strewn around. CORMER is
lounging in the chair, feet on table, reading a red book titled ÒSNOW.Ó TREE1
and TREE2 are back outside walking hand in hand. TREE1 is no longer
wearing the firefighter outfit. TREE1 is happy and excited. TREE2
seems content.
CORMERÕs
phone rings from inside the igloo. CORMER ignores it and continues reading.
The phone rings a couple more times and then we hear the answering machine pick
up.
ANSWERING MACHINE:
(CORMERÕs voice) Guess
what buddy? IÕm not your tool. I donÕt HAVE to pick up the phone
just because you called. IÕm not going to listen to your corn-fed
talky-talk ANYMORE! SO YOU CAN JUST FORGET ME PAL CAUSE I TOOK THE RED
PILL BABY AND YOU CANÕT SEE ME FROM YOUR CORPORATE SOUNDPROOF HELMET ANYMORE
YOU FACIST SO LEAVE A MESSAGE.Ó Beep
GREASEÕS VOICE OVER
PHONE: Cormer
pick up I know youÕre there. Look, I need you to get me that stuff today
by 3:21 cause Central is all over me and theyÕre threatening to take away my
Cyber Monday vacation time. I really need you to get me that paperwork
and those dvd menu designs asap. Beat Did you get the memo I
sent? Cormer? Beat Come on man, I just booked a whole
trip itÕs like this Alaskan gettaway! Pick up I know youÕre there!
CORMERÕS VOICE OVER
ANSWERING MACHINE (CORMER is not talking,
voice is heard only through the phone):
IÕm
not picking up.
GREASE VOICE: Well
then what am I going to tell Central?? Look, will you just tell us if you
quit or not? Beat. Goddammit. Hangs up.
CORMER
smiles and continues to read. The igloo light comes on and we hear the
sound of windchimes in the breeze.
TREE1: (Continuing
a conversation) Because right now theyÕre just all called that because itÕs a monopoly.
And that is ILLEGAL.
TREE2: Huh.
TREE1: Mine
will be called ÒFirst Emancipated Fire Fighters Brigade.Ó
TREE2: Oh!
ThatÕs very nice.
TREE1: Once
Central gets my Letter of Complaint & Intent then the ball will really get
rolling. (Excitement glistens in TREE1Õs eyes) Beat.
Hey do you wanna be in my fire department?
TREE2: (Flattered) Oh no thank you I
couldnÕt. TREE1 is not offended. They walk some more.
TREE2 points into the sky. Look! A bird or a hat!
TREE1: Looks
into sky as well. Oh yeah. Hey you know, I guess that IS a bird or a
hat.
TREE1
and TREE2 stop walking and continue to stare up into the sky.
THE END